Teenagers are notorious for their desperate need to be independent. For high school senior Nicole Lujan, the opposite is true. She has been living with her father since she was two, when her parents divorced, and they have a very close relationship. “He’s kind of my inspiration for what I want to be,” said Lujan.
As a child, the divorce was an awkward situation. She needed someone to talk to about things she didn’t feel comfortable telling her father, but as an only child she felt she didn’t have anyone to confide in. It was also tough to see the other children with parents that were still together and often wondered why she never had a complete family. She felt like an outsider that couldn’t relate to the other children.
Reflecting now, she feels as if her childhood were stolen from her. Through her loneliness she began to feel more independent. “I became my own individual, but I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to learn from my own mistakes,” Lujan said.
Like every little girl, she always wanted to be a superstar. Se took dance lessons until the age of ten, trying everything from ballet to folkorico. When she stopped dancing she became more social, playing with friends and trying a lot of new things. She first stumbled upon cross-country running in her freshman year of high school. When she came to the first meeting, she automatically felt right at home. “It was just like kindergarten,” said Lujan. “They made me feel so welcome and told me to introduce myself to my new teammates.” The adjustment from dancing to running was not an easy task, but it was a worthy task. Not only did she make many new friends, but she also used it as a vent for her feelings. When she ran she was in control. She could stop thinking for a while and just find peace within.
Sometimes she worries that when the time comes for marriage, she won’t know whom to trust. She wants someone on her level so they can become closer through their imperfections. Someone she can grow with, moving towards a luxurious, happy life. But most of all, she wants to be a mother that has a close bond with her family.
Despite all the hardships that she experienced in her parents’ divorce, she still feels that if a couple isn’t happy, divorce is the best option. “You don’t want to be dragged down by someone that you don’t like,” Lujan said.
Marriage is a long way off for her, and for now she just wants to enjoy being sixteen. However, it is always difficult to be young when you’re living in an adult world.
Lujan said, “Sometimes I feel as if I’d be more of a teenager if I went all crazy and made my mistakes now, I guess.” One thing is for sure. She will figure it out in her own way, just like she always has.
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